Tonight is the kickoff of the FREAKIN’ WEEKEND!!! It was originally supposed to take place at The Jungle, but the ladies bailed out last minute [bummer] Luckily, a house has stepped up to the plate and it’s guaranteed to be a ball. The Kitty is located on the corner of Hopkins and Woodmont Ave. Just go down Woodmont and turn onto Hopkins and you’ll see where it’s at. Here’s a little more direction for you….

OH MAN LET’S PARTY LET’S GET CRAZY ITS THE FREAKIN WEEKEND BABY!!!!

KICKOFF PARTY
:: SPECIAL GUESTS [NOT THAT SPECIAL SO DON’T GET TOO HYPHY]
:::: BEN STEINE’S MONEY
:::::: LARRY DAVID AND THE HIPSTERS
@ THE KITTY
$FREE – ALL AGES – 9PM

Daniel is shredding pretty hard around the east coast right now [don’t worry though, he’ll be back on Sunday in time for day 3 of the FREAKIN’ WEEKEND!] so if he’s coming to your town, do yourself a favor and go check him out. Especially if you’re in the Brooklyn area tonight — he’s playing at Don Pedro’s with Liquor Store, Home Blitz, Ultrabunny, and NT as a part of the Midnite Till Death series. Let’s shred!

Shreditorial 9

Spalding Gray Watching Scanners

Let me tell you: a definite shred: Computer Music Nightmares. Sort of like the soundtrack before you head explodes. Or like violins swelling with the veins in your head. Like Chat Roulette around the room on an endless Next without a Back button.

@ The Lap Dance Convo Club.

Sort of am insider’s celebration of a pragmatist’s cynical surrender to the armchair of infinite possibilities: time’s blank check on comfortable contemplation: a Phantom Projector scanning the rooms like a Terminator telephoned from Island to Island.

Whose chest is twisted.

Inside a room wallpapered with the worst photos ever captured: gulags, Nazis, war, famine, death, fast food slaughterhouses, childhood obesity, morbid scarcity, and existential tether balls and karmic teabaggers.

Cashing chips on your face, moving you to action.

Is the set of a game show where you have to choose between a motley crew of carnies, gimps, dogs, dunces, and other wounded receivers and the mysterious silhouettes of the Future Bringers of a Possible Better.

Called the White Man’s Lie.

The game consists of the feeling before your head explodes forever to the Computer Music Nightmare and essentially gambling between your Wounded Receivers and Bringers of the Future. The key though is to remain on 11 long enough to jump full force in wanton abandon.

Straight into the Deep Fryer.

The only variable to worry about is that your Wounded Receivers are the Sure Thing, and the Bringers of the Future could be empty handed, or cold shouldered, or merely there soft enough to know your name but feel and share no pain.

Whose breath don’t pass their teeth.

They could wave at you while walking in the rain, or sext you on your deathbed. Or be the next best thing, but are you going home tonight with what you came with or more or less? That’s the game that is always playing where there is Milk N Honey.

Skeleton Face Cereal Box.

303,824,640 Lighthouses grinding through the soil in traffic blasting how the weather is up there hoping to go home with a prize; secretly hoping to get toppled hard enough to fuck without a condom on.

Raw Dogger or Mind Fucker or Trent Reznor.

In the rubble and bricks of this thing that was built for them to maintain and decorate and snipe from and escape from and crawl down with miles of hair because your can’t starve so now what?

Equalize Yer Playing Field.

Sup Wez?,

Pujol

THE FREAKIN’ WEEKEND IS COMING… MORE ANNOUNCEMENTS SOON

We mentioned a couple bands in our Santa Cruz blag the other day, but we feel like we owe them a little more than just a footnote on our adventures. Mostly because they kicked butt. We’ll only spend a minute talking about Wild Thing since we talked about them forever ago, so let’s just say that these dudes rock and roll every second of the day. And the night.

IMPEDIMENTS

Impediments are a bunch of Bay area punk rollers who….. I mean, just look at that picture. What’s not to like about this band? There’s four teenage kickers hanging loose with some badass records in a messy room [Anybody holding a Kids record is a friend of ours] But that one dude’s wearing a Braves jacket and man do we HATE the Braves! But that other guy is stepping on motorcylce-jacketed-boy’s head, so more punk points. Plus, they’re all like 12 years old. Anyways, Impediments make the kind of tunes you’d play to soundtrack a sunny day of shredding on your skateboard around the beach and hollering at cougars. Their debut LP is out now on HappyParts Recordings. Scoop it here!

MOJO HAND

Mojo Hand are a pretty sweet meld of Surf and Punk and something sort of reminiscent of something that’s kind of like a Hendrix-y thing. Does that make sense? No? Sorry, we’re really reaching for words lately. It’s been a long week and we’re getting everything ready for the weekend and stuff and we really just wanna have fun and hope that it’s not gonna rain all weekend. Anyways, Mojo Hand. The Oakland three-piece have been playing shows in the area for the last little while with the likes of Impediments and Bare Wires and have apparently been leaving people blown away. They bailed out on the show we went to while we were in SF, so we can’t say it first hand, but we can imagine that they rule. No releases yet, but that never takes too long. Keep your eyes peeled!!

HAHA! Check that out!! Everybody’s getting down with some real Nashville love. Our buddy, and Angry Serfer, Perry from Philadelphia just got that super gnarly JEFF tattoo a little bit ago and we thought it ruled enough to talk about. Then we remembered that our two buddies in Detroit, Natalie and Marissa, got Natural Child stick ‘n pokes a while back and those look extra gnarly [kind of infected and puffy and weird too] Anyways, we here at the Deadquarters would just like to say that we fully support people across the country getting tattoos representing Nashville bands. Well, maybe not all of them.

Remember forever ago when we talked about how JEFF and Ty Segall were probably gonna do a split 7″? Well, it’s truth! It’s gonna be on Goner Records [Whoa whoa hey hey whoops! Apparently this one is gonna be an Infinity Cat release and the journalist just screwed up. Come on, Paste! You wouldn’t do that kind of thing to Wilco. Paste love Wilco] and, contrary to popular belief, it’ll blow. JUST KIDDING. That shit’s gonna rule! JEFF’s side will feature the new #1 hit single [suck it Ke$ha] “Diamond Way”. Check out the full interview that the boys did with Paste magazine right here! Flying from San Jose to Nashville today — see you soon babes.

I’m a little late on posting this week’s LOST …. seriously but it’s OK. Seth’s got us reeling. Really reeling. Eat it up, mamis.

LOST …. seriously
Sundown

Man, everybody wants to kill Sayid, the puppy killer or whatever he is. Somebody shot him for killing a kid back in real life, some bad shit happened to him before I started watching this show on the island, and then the Gun Club tried to poison him. Now his wife won’t let him talk on his cell phone at the dinner table. Or maybe she’s not his wife. Whatever.

There’s like a kung-fu fight going on. I hate it when TV and movies show people getting seriously beat up, but they never get knocked out or injured. Seriously, have you guys ever been punched in the face? It REALLY hurts, even if you don’t get punched that hard. This Sayid guy got drilled with a huge club right across the teeth, but he kept on fighting. That’s annoying. But also, I think he might be undead.

Apparently the holy water isn’t what brought this devil’s reject back, he must have been rejected… by the devil. That’s why everyone says he’s evil.

So speaking of evil I guess the Old Guy from before is actually some kind of demon that the Asian Witchdoctor claims is also, “evil incarnate”. Sayid is supposed to kill him with some kind of ceremonial knife. Back in reality, Sayid has also been asked to kill some kind of pure evil father killing loan shark gangster. Also with a knife.

Man, all these jerks on this island had ridiculously stressful, awful lives before they were here. Why would they go back? No, what I meant was; why don’t they all just let themselves die. No… why didn’t they learn anything from their crappy past lives and try to make a change? I guess that’s what the show’s about… you know whether people change and stuff, but

Whoa. He stabbed the Old Guy in the heart, but Old Guy is fine and also doesn’t bleed. And also isn’t evil, I guess.

So, this girl Kate took that Australian preggo’s baby off the island? What? Hello? Who let the island? The pregger is in a hole in the ground guarded by guys with guns and she issues a warning. God damn it.

So Sayid got kidnapped by the gangsters that stabbed his brother, blah blahblah, the point is- the head gangster looks sort of like K-Pax and has to eat sunny side up eggs on screen. That’s hilarious, and also damning for any actor who isn’t Samuel L Jackson. Care to challenge me on that? That gangster guy will never work in this town again. Garunteed.

So Sayid goes on a ruthless killing spree killing all of the gangsters, the asian witchdoctor, the john lennon impersonator and I’m pretty sure he’s gonna kill the nerdy middle aged guy that looks like Alan Cummings. I don’t really know what to make of this see you next week, losers.

We’ve been down hanging loose with our west coast buddies for the last couple days in Santa Cruz, CA and we’ve learned alot in that time. Lots of foods, stuff about hippys, so many dread alerts, hanging with the sk8r beach bum vampire punks, and a kickass dollar bin. If you want to read more about it, JUST DO IT. See you soon, Nashville! Gotta get back for the FREAKIN’ WEEKEND!!!

——————————————————————————–

We’ve never been to Santa Cruz, except in our dreams when we imagine ourselves as Lost Boys or as sk8r beach babes just shreddin’ like real thrashers, but we’ve been here for a couple days now and I think I’ve got it mostly figured out. We’ll use a couple stills from Thrashin’ to make this more than just words…

Hippys are a little shocking. Taken aback, for sure.

First, it is full of hippys. Everywhere you go, there are wizards and dreddy half-human/half-plants. Normally, we’d say this is a bad thing. But it’s not really because it seems like all these hippys used to have pretty sweet record collections and now they’re just trying to shell that shit out so they can go party on Heroin Hill. Here’s the full rundown of records I got for a whole whopping twenty-spot:

Bob Dylan /////
New Morning, Another Side of Bob Dylan, Hard Rain
Rolling Stones /////
Between The Buttons, Their Satanic Majesties Request, Some Girls, Get Yer Ya-Yas Out, It’s Only Rock n Roll, Exile on Main Street, Through the Past Darkly, Goat’s Head Soup, The Rolling Stones Now
The Spits /////
IV [Schools Out], 19 Million AC
And some Bowie, Mothers of Invention, The Cars, Scorpions, and Foghat. OH YEAH AND THEY’RE ALL FUCKING ORIGINALS!

Granted I did have most these records already, but who can turn down that boatload for $20?? No one. That Stones’ Satanic Majesties record has the original holographic cover! That right there has totally changed my mind about hippys. Well, not totally, but hippys with records that they wanna ditch for cheap are cool with me. Sorry, I should probably say “hippys with hella records they wanna ditch for hella cheap are cool with hella me” People talk like babies out here.

House shows out here are pretty rad. I went up to San Francisco down to 18th and Mission and saw Impediments and Wild Thing tear people apart. Apparently this band Mojohand was supposed to play, but didn’t? I don’t know. At the time – I could’ve cared less. But then I checked out their myspace and now I’m actually pretty bummed they didn’t play. Probably too busy shredding the gnar. Anyways, most the kids out here are pretty badass. I talked to this dude about Nashville for a little while and he tried to hip me to this band called JEFF the Brotherhood [who are apparently from Nashy — who knew?] This video kind of epitomizes the way things are around here…

I went and fulfilled all my Lost Boy dreams and went to the roller-coaster and hung out there and bit a kid on the neck. Something just overcame me, don’t judge. And then at night we went down to these caves on the beach and drank lamb’s blood [which is incredibly hard to find in Santa Cruz. All these vegan vegetable wimps can’t believe someone would wanna eat meat. SO NUTS! EAT A BURGER! You can just pick avocados and oranges and lemons out of peoples’ yards though, which is cool. Anyways….] and brought our Ouija board and tried to conjure up some spirits. The first part of this part isn’t really true, but the second part is. We didn’t have too much luck trying to connect with the dead rock and rollers. But we tried and, hey, that’s the best you can do!

OK, I’m sick of typing. It’s like 70 degrees and sunny outside and I’ve got more hippys to rip off and beach babes to swoon. Take ’em down to babe island. I wanna get lost with you on babe island. See you soon, Nashville.

And now that I’m back, Corey Haim is dead. Later Lost Boy.