I’m a little late on posting this week’s LOST …. seriously but it’s OK. Seth’s got us reeling. Really reeling. Eat it up, mamis.

LOST …. seriously

Man, everybody wants to kill Sayid, the puppy killer or whatever he is. Somebody shot him for killing a kid back in real life, some bad shit happened to him before I started watching this show on the island, and then the Gun Club tried to poison him. Now his wife won’t let him talk on his cell phone at the dinner table. Or maybe she’s not his wife. Whatever.

There’s like a kung-fu fight going on. I hate it when TV and movies show people getting seriously beat up, but they never get knocked out or injured. Seriously, have you guys ever been punched in the face? It REALLY hurts, even if you don’t get punched that hard. This Sayid guy got drilled with a huge club right across the teeth, but he kept on fighting. That’s annoying. But also, I think he might be undead.

Apparently the holy water isn’t what brought this devil’s reject back, he must have been rejected… by the devil. That’s why everyone says he’s evil.

So speaking of evil I guess the Old Guy from before is actually some kind of demon that the Asian Witchdoctor claims is also, “evil incarnate”. Sayid is supposed to kill him with some kind of ceremonial knife. Back in reality, Sayid has also been asked to kill some kind of pure evil father killing loan shark gangster. Also with a knife.

Man, all these jerks on this island had ridiculously stressful, awful lives before they were here. Why would they go back? No, what I meant was; why don’t they all just let themselves die. No… why didn’t they learn anything from their crappy past lives and try to make a change? I guess that’s what the show’s about… you know whether people change and stuff, but

Whoa. He stabbed the Old Guy in the heart, but Old Guy is fine and also doesn’t bleed. And also isn’t evil, I guess.

So, this girl Kate took that Australian preggo’s baby off the island? What? Hello? Who let the island? The pregger is in a hole in the ground guarded by guys with guns and she issues a warning. God damn it.

So Sayid got kidnapped by the gangsters that stabbed his brother, blah blahblah, the point is- the head gangster looks sort of like K-Pax and has to eat sunny side up eggs on screen. That’s hilarious, and also damning for any actor who isn’t Samuel L Jackson. Care to challenge me on that? That gangster guy will never work in this town again. Garunteed.

So Sayid goes on a ruthless killing spree killing all of the gangsters, the asian witchdoctor, the john lennon impersonator and I’m pretty sure he’s gonna kill the nerdy middle aged guy that looks like Alan Cummings. I don’t really know what to make of this see you next week, losers.

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