Today’s list comes from some of our favorite Murfreesborinians, The Kindergarten Circus. As far as we’re concerned, their debut LP that came out earlier this year was one of the best local releases to hit the turntables in ’09. I mean, it’s got riffs galore, and it won’t let you down for a second, and it’s got a weird clowny troll thing on the cover… it rules. It’s like these teens picked up guitars and drumsticks before picking up pencils and notebooks and learned their rocking and rolling way before they’re reading and ‘rithmetic. Wouldn’t you agree? Anyways…. let’s get listy.

When the sweeties at Nashville’s Dead asked us to make a list we said, “Yeah! Sure! No problem!” Listen closely. Making lists is hard. REALLY HARD. We spent days trying to make a half decent list, but we couldn’t complete a single one. So here are the top five lists that we did not complete.

THE 5 LISTS WE DIDN’T COMPLETE
THE KINDERGARTEN CIRCUS

LIST #1: Top Ten Worst Candies

WHY WE WANTED TO: Because candy is near and dear to our hearts and bad candy sucks. Duh.

WHY WE DIDN’T: Nothing can compare to the ass-flavored confections that are Wonka Kazoozles and Strawberried Peanut Butter M&Ms.

LIST#2: Top Ten High School Memories

WHY WE WANTED TO: Last week Logan’s English teacher dook’d all over herself IN THE MIDDLE OF CLASS and we wanted to tell everyone.

WHY WE DIDN’T: This isn’t Saved by the Bell. (but if it was Logan would be Screech! ahahaha!!!)

LIST#3: Ten People Who Could’ve Done A Better Job Playing Bob Dylan Than Cate Blanchett

WHY WE WANTED TO: Obvious reasons.

WHY WE DIDN’T: Because ten is too few. There are literally millions of people who could’ve done it better.

LIST#4: Top Ten Bens Affiliated With Third Man Records

WHY WE WANTED TO DO IT: We love them! Plus giving Swank and that punk ass Blackwell shit is too fun.

WHY WE DIDN’T: We didn’t wanna leave out poor Miles and no matter how deep you dig, there just are not ten Bens.

LIST#5: Top Ten Jokes About People That Died This Year That Are Still Funny

WHY WE WANTED TO DO IT: “What are Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson getting for Christmas this year? PATRICK SWAYZE.”

WHY WE DIDN’T: That punk Swayze died too early and all the other jokes suck.

XOXO MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE KINDERGARTEN CIRCUS!

Thanks bebes, you guys are true blue. Pick up The Kindergarten Circus’s album at Grimey’s or the internet or the Groove or Halcyon or any record store in Nashy that’s got some brains.

What day are we on? I don’t even remember. It doesn’t matter though, Listmas is the best time of the year and ain’t nada gonsta stop us from having a ball! Today’s list comes from Sir William Tyler. Willy is a Lambchop, a Silver Jew, a Tim Chad & Sherry, a Paper Hat, a Sebastian Speaks, a great guy, a record collector, a favorite son of Nashville, and one of the nicest dudes we’ve ever met. He hosted one of our favorite shows this year [along with countless other shows over the years] at the Vine Ridge House with pretty much all those bands we mentioned earlier plus JEFF and Natural Child and a couple out-of-towners. When we heard he was moving, we cringed at the thought of a Willy T-less Nashville. Luckily he didn’t leave the city and just jumped on over to our side of town. Since then, he’s been dishing at some of our favorite eateries, and now he’s here to tell you about them.

Photo by Bekah Cope at The Last Vine Ridge House Show

The temperature and the Prez’s approval ratings have taken a dive, and who wudda thunk it would be Joe Lieberman that was the Grinch Who Stole Christmas. Nevertheless, the specter of mass familial gorging and gift giving is here and we got one week till those Nordic reindeer start up the convoy.

For most of the last years I was West Siding it, but this fall I relocated to the Nolensville Road area, and I thought it would be appropriate for me to give a rundown of my fave culinary crannies. I am sure everyone will have their own bit to throw in but I figured I could at least give it a shot.

TOP ELEVEN CULINARY REASONS WHY NOLENSVILLE ROAD RULES

1. Ubiquitous Taco Trucks.

My personal fave at this moment is the 99 cent taco truck on the corner of Melrose/Peachtree and Nolensville. They’ve got a green tomatillo sauce with a kick that would give Alan Greenspan hair. Excellent carne asada, and a damn good burrito to boot! I also have to give some serious love to Don Juan’s taco stand, near the intersection of Thompson and Nolensville. Stuff your gob for less than a fiver.

2. Siam Cafe

My sister and her boyfriend live quite literally next door to this amazing example of gastronomical staying power. Siam Cafe is the best Thai place in town, period, and what’s more, it’s been there forever!

3. Las Americas

Half grocery store, half taqueria, this legendary little joint churns out some mean mean papusas, bascially corn cakes stuffed with beans, cheese, and topped with red salsa and pickled cabbage. Get some!

4. House of Kabob

This Kurdish eatery, tucked into a shopping plaza off Thompson, has excellent middle eastern food, from stunning kebabs to pungent stews.

5. La Hacienda

Yup, It’s hard to get around these dudes. Probably the best all around Mexican place in town….

6. Gabby’s Burger and Fries

Quite literally in the shadow of Greer Stadium’s mega-axe, this new diner has quite possibly the best burgers in town.

7. Dairy King

This place is located off East Thompson Lane, and it’s a doozy of a time capsule. Part drive up burger and shake joint, part sit down meat and three diner. This is the way America ate before the dawn of the psychedelic era….well come to think of it, it’s still how a lot of America eats.

8. Tofu House

Korean food is not for everyone…It’s spicy, it’s heavy, and everything seems to be pickled. Which is all damn fine with me, but it’s hard to find good Korean places. This restaurant, a bit of ways down Antioch Pike, rules the coop in many ways. Great soups of course, but there are so many other beautifully unique facets to Korean dining. And the side dishes of kimchee will keep coming, so be prepared for endurance eating.

9. Athens Family Diner/La Dolce Vita

Ok, it’s obvious to most folks who reside here for sometime that we don’t exactly have a bevvy of 24 hour eating options. Athens is one of the few exceptions though, and they whip up a pretty mean breakfast at any hour of day or night. Across the street is a strangely anonymous looking store in the Kroger shopping plaza, a lonely sign beckoning “pizza”. Now, it ain’t Patsy’s or anything, but they serve till five in the morning. And in those desperate hours of hunger, you the addled wayfarer won’t be too picky.

10. Back to Cuba

This cafe off Trousdale is easily one of the best restaurants in town, of any kind. Their specials change everyday, they always have great sandwiches, and everything goes better here with an order of black beans and fried plantains. And ya gotta hold some roome for the tres leches cake.

11. Martin’s BBQ

Ok, I am cheating here a bit. Martin’s while most certainly on Nolensville Road, is actually all the way east out the road in the town of Nolensville itself. And I have heard they might be moving soon! Everyone has their favorite bbq spots, usually the more difficult to find, the better. I swear by the pulled pork and smoked turkey here though, and they have habanero based sauce that will take a ticket straight to your third eye.

Eat well and eat often,

Willy T

PS. The bad boy is having a birthday next week. If you see him ’round town, buy him a beer and tell him Happy Birthday. Thanks Willy, you’re the best.

Welcome to Day 4 of Listmas. Today, our buddy Cy Barkley is here to satisfy all your listy needs with a list of things that have been taken from him. We love Cy. He’s been in some of our favorite Nashville bands for the last few years [Quickness, EMP, and now his solo stuff] Here goes!!!!

Cy juicing after losing his gall bladder

WORST THINGS EVER TAKEN FROM ME
CY BARKLEY

1. My Bike – When I was in like the fifth or fourth grade before I discovered how fuckin sweet thrashin a board was I was all about the BMX. I couldn’t do shit except stand on the pegs and ride around with people standing on the pegs but that was the funnest shit ever. So I wanted this bike it was a Gary Fisher and the pegs were fucking huge! I could fit like four people on these fucking huge pegs! So I was all about this Gary Fisher and I wanted it so bad I would go to the store and ask to “test ride” it twice a week. Well my parents secretly bought it for me and surprised me. Then I took it to the skate park in Brentwood with Jamin where I saw a girl take her shirt off for the first time and figured out I couldn’t do any sick jumps because it was too big! I didn’t care it was the sweetest bike ever! Well my parents were having some stuff done to the house and this guy that worked for them was like nineteen and when I was sick at home from school he would sneak into my room and watch Ronin Warriors with me and he told me that he used to skip his last class everyday one semester just to watch it and he saw smash mouth at some concert where he crowd surfed a naked chick. Well soon as they got done working and winter was over I went out to ride my big bike and it was GONE! THAT RONIN WARRIOR WATCHING MOTHER FUCKER TOOK MY BIKE AND I NEVER GOT IT BACK AND I EVEN HAD SICK SWEET DICE FOR THE TIRE CAPS!

2. My Guitar – When I was in high school Adam Moult from Bad Cop had the house where bands practiced. Sometimes even bands he wasn’t in. It was all hardcore and heavy metal and he had the biggest basement. I left a guitar over there and he borrowed it for a show without asking me and left it at the muse. When he went back to pick it up an hour later it was gone. SO I HELD HIS BASS AMP RANSOM TILL HE PAID ME 200 BUCKS FOR MY GUITAR HE LOST!

3. Writing Credit– You know that Turbo Fruits song “I Want Some Mo”? Yeah the mo was all me. We were in the van in Texas and I kept talking about how much I liked that song. At the time it was called “I Want Some More” It’s fucking true! I have the original version on my ipod and they say “I WANT SOME MORE I WANT SOME MORE!” but in the van in Texas I kept yelling “I LIKE THAT TURBO FRUITS SONG! I WANT SOME MO! I WANT SOME MO! I WANT SOME MO! I WANT SOME MO!” And I kept yelling it in a funny voice and everyone laughed and then Jonas started doing it all the time then before you know it IT’S THE NAME OF THE SONG ON THE ALBUM AND THEY ARE IN THE FAMOUS MOVIES AND I MADE THAT UP AND I DON’T GET SHIT FOR IT!

4. My Shrimp – I had a show at my and Ben’s house a few months ago and it went really well except one thing: let me explain, ok? I bought some shrimp at Krogers, they were cocktail shrimp and not very good but it was two-for-one and it was like 50 shrimp so I said, “shit, baby!” and bought it up. I was really excited about this shrimp. Then after the house show I opened my freezer and it was all gone!! Some French band played and I think they took the shrimp because French people are into that shit but mostly  I WANT TO KNOW WHO TOOK MY SHRIMP BECAUSE IM GOING TO PUNCH THEM IN THE FACE I DON’T CARE IF IT’S A GIRL OR A FRENCHY!!!

5. My Gall Bladder – When I was sixteen I almost died. No joke. The doc told my parents he has a 50% chance of making it through the night. I was so fucked up on painkillers too but I knew I was fucked up by worse. I was supposed to go skateboarding at the concrete park and it was the day before I was going back to boarding school. I had been getting massive heartburn and chest pains randomly for a few years and they started happening more often. So I’m hanging out waiting to go skate and then I’m puking green shit everywhere like projectile and I can’t stand up! Turns out my Gall Bladder got full of gall stones [like fucking twelve] and blocked up my stomach and also gave me pancreatitis. It was scary and hurt really bad and they didn’t let me eat or drink water for two weeks! THEN I COULDN’T GO TO THE BATHROOM SO A BUNCH OF YOUNG VANDY NURSES HAD TO PUT A TUBE UP MY DICK AND I CRIED!