Today’s list comes from some of our favorite Murfreesborinians, The Kindergarten Circus. As far as we’re concerned, their debut LP that came out earlier this year was one of the best local releases to hit the turntables in ’09. I mean, it’s got riffs galore, and it won’t let you down for a second, and it’s got a weird clowny troll thing on the cover… it rules. It’s like these teens picked up guitars and drumsticks before picking up pencils and notebooks and learned their rocking and rolling way before they’re reading and ‘rithmetic. Wouldn’t you agree? Anyways…. let’s get listy.
When the sweeties at Nashvilleâ€™s Dead asked us to make a list we said, â€œYeah! Sure! No problem!â€ Listen closely. Making lists is hard. REALLY HARD. We spent days trying to make a half decent list, but we couldnâ€™t complete a single one. So here are the top five lists that we did not complete.
THE 5 LISTS WE DIDN’T COMPLETE
THE KINDERGARTEN CIRCUS
LIST #1: Top Ten Worst Candies
WHY WE WANTED TO: Because candy is near and dear to our hearts and bad candy sucks. Duh.
WHY WE DIDNâ€™T: Nothing can compare to the ass-flavored confections that are Wonka Kazoozles and Strawberried Peanut Butter M&Ms.
LIST#2: Top Ten High School Memories
WHY WE WANTED TO: Last week Loganâ€™s English teacher dookâ€™d all over herself IN THE MIDDLE OF CLASS and we wanted to tell everyone.
WHY WE DIDNâ€™T: This isnâ€™t Saved by the Bell. (but if it was Logan would be Screech! ahahaha!!!)
LIST#3: Ten People Who Could’ve Done A Better Job Playing Bob Dylan Than Cate Blanchett
WHY WE WANTED TO: Obvious reasons.
WHY WE DIDNâ€™T: Because ten is too few. There are literally millions of people who could’ve done it better.
LIST#4: Top Ten Bens Affiliated With Third Man Records
WHY WE WANTED TO DO IT: We love them! Plus giving Swank and that punk ass Blackwell shit is too fun.
WHY WE DIDNâ€™T: We didnâ€™t wanna leave out poor Miles and no matter how deep you dig, there just are not ten Bens.
LIST#5: Top Ten Jokes About People That Died This Year That Are Still Funny
WHY WE WANTED TO DO IT: â€œWhat are Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson getting for Christmas this year? PATRICK SWAYZE.â€
WHY WE DIDNâ€™T: That punk Swayze died too early and all the other jokes suck.
XOXO MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE KINDERGARTEN CIRCUS!
Thanks bebes, you guys are true blue. Pick up The Kindergarten Circus’s album at Grimey’s or the internet or the Groove or Halcyon or any record store in Nashy that’s got some brains.