LISTMAS

Today’s list comes from some of our favorite Murfreesborinians, The Kindergarten Circus. As far as we’re concerned, their debut LP that came out earlier this year was one of the best local releases to hit the turntables in ’09. I mean, it’s got riffs galore, and it won’t let you down for a second, and it’s got a weird clowny troll thing on the cover… it rules. It’s like these teens picked up guitars and drumsticks before picking up pencils and notebooks and learned their rocking and rolling way before they’re reading and ‘rithmetic. Wouldn’t you agree? Anyways…. let’s get listy.

When the sweeties at Nashville’s Dead asked us to make a list we said, “Yeah! Sure! No problem!” Listen closely. Making lists is hard. REALLY HARD. We spent days trying to make a half decent list, but we couldn’t complete a single one. So here are the top five lists that we did not complete.

THE 5 LISTS WE DIDN’T COMPLETE
THE KINDERGARTEN CIRCUS

LIST #1: Top Ten Worst Candies

WHY WE WANTED TO: Because candy is near and dear to our hearts and bad candy sucks. Duh.

WHY WE DIDN’T: Nothing can compare to the ass-flavored confections that are Wonka Kazoozles and Strawberried Peanut Butter M&Ms.

LIST#2: Top Ten High School Memories

WHY WE WANTED TO: Last week Logan’s English teacher dook’d all over herself IN THE MIDDLE OF CLASS and we wanted to tell everyone.

WHY WE DIDN’T: This isn’t Saved by the Bell. (but if it was Logan would be Screech! ahahaha!!!)

LIST#3: Ten People Who Could’ve Done A Better Job Playing Bob Dylan Than Cate Blanchett

WHY WE WANTED TO: Obvious reasons.

WHY WE DIDN’T: Because ten is too few. There are literally millions of people who could’ve done it better.

LIST#4: Top Ten Bens Affiliated With Third Man Records

WHY WE WANTED TO DO IT: We love them! Plus giving Swank and that punk ass Blackwell shit is too fun.

WHY WE DIDN’T: We didn’t wanna leave out poor Miles and no matter how deep you dig, there just are not ten Bens.

LIST#5: Top Ten Jokes About People That Died This Year That Are Still Funny

WHY WE WANTED TO DO IT: “What are Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson getting for Christmas this year? PATRICK SWAYZE.”

WHY WE DIDN’T: That punk Swayze died too early and all the other jokes suck.

XOXO MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE KINDERGARTEN CIRCUS!

Thanks bebes, you guys are true blue. Pick up The Kindergarten Circus’s album at Grimey’s or the internet or the Groove or Halcyon or any record store in Nashy that’s got some brains.

0 comments Comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.