LISTMAS

Welcome to Day 4 of Listmas. Today, our buddy Cy Barkley is here to satisfy all your listy needs with a list of things that have been taken from him. We love Cy. He’s been in some of our favorite Nashville bands for the last few years [Quickness, EMP, and now his solo stuff] Here goes!!!!

Cy juicing after losing his gall bladder

Cy juicing after losing his gall bladder

WORST THINGS EVER TAKEN FROM ME
CY BARKLEY

1. My Bike – When I was in like the fifth or fourth grade before I discovered how fuckin sweet thrashin a board was I was all about the BMX. I couldn’t do shit except stand on the pegs and ride around with people standing on the pegs but that was the funnest shit ever. So I wanted this bike it was a Gary Fisher and the pegs were fucking huge! I could fit like four people on these fucking huge pegs! So I was all about this Gary Fisher and I wanted it so bad I would go to the store and ask to “test ride” it twice a week. Well my parents secretly bought it for me and surprised me. Then I took it to the skate park in Brentwood with Jamin where I saw a girl take her shirt off for the first time and figured out I couldn’t do any sick jumps because it was too big! I didn’t care it was the sweetest bike ever! Well my parents were having some stuff done to the house and this guy that worked for them was like nineteen and when I was sick at home from school he would sneak into my room and watch Ronin Warriors with me and he told me that he used to skip his last class everyday one semester just to watch it and he saw smash mouth at some concert where he crowd surfed a naked chick. Well soon as they got done working and winter was over I went out to ride my big bike and it was GONE! THAT RONIN WARRIOR WATCHING MOTHER FUCKER TOOK MY BIKE AND I NEVER GOT IT BACK AND I EVEN HAD SICK SWEET DICE FOR THE TIRE CAPS!

2. My Guitar – When I was in high school Adam Moult from Bad Cop had the house where bands practiced. Sometimes even bands he wasn’t in. It was all hardcore and heavy metal and he had the biggest basement. I left a guitar over there and he borrowed it for a show without asking me and left it at the muse. When he went back to pick it up an hour later it was gone. SO I HELD HIS BASS AMP RANSOM TILL HE PAID ME 200 BUCKS FOR MY GUITAR HE LOST!

3. Writing Credit– You know that Turbo Fruits song “I Want Some Mo”? Yeah the mo was all me. We were in the van in Texas and I kept talking about how much I liked that song. At the time it was called “I Want Some More” It’s fucking true! I have the original version on my ipod and they say “I WANT SOME MORE I WANT SOME MORE!” but in the van in Texas I kept yelling “I LIKE THAT TURBO FRUITS SONG! I WANT SOME MO! I WANT SOME MO! I WANT SOME MO! I WANT SOME MO!” And I kept yelling it in a funny voice and everyone laughed and then Jonas started doing it all the time then before you know it IT’S THE NAME OF THE SONG ON THE ALBUM AND THEY ARE IN THE FAMOUS MOVIES AND I MADE THAT UP AND I DON’T GET SHIT FOR IT!

4. My Shrimp – I had a show at my and Ben’s house a few months ago and it went really well except one thing: let me explain, ok? I bought some shrimp at Krogers, they were cocktail shrimp and not very good but it was two-for-one and it was like 50 shrimp so I said, “shit, baby!” and bought it up. I was really excited about this shrimp. Then after the house show I opened my freezer and it was all gone!! Some French band played and I think they took the shrimp because French people are into that shit but mostly  I WANT TO KNOW WHO TOOK MY SHRIMP BECAUSE IM GOING TO PUNCH THEM IN THE FACE I DON’T CARE IF IT’S A GIRL OR A FRENCHY!!!

5. My Gall Bladder – When I was sixteen I almost died. No joke. The doc told my parents he has a 50% chance of making it through the night. I was so fucked up on painkillers too but I knew I was fucked up by worse. I was supposed to go skateboarding at the concrete park and it was the day before I was going back to boarding school. I had been getting massive heartburn and chest pains randomly for a few years and they started happening more often. So I’m hanging out waiting to go skate and then I’m puking green shit everywhere like projectile and I can’t stand up! Turns out my Gall Bladder got full of gall stones [like fucking twelve] and blocked up my stomach and also gave me pancreatitis. It was scary and hurt really bad and they didn’t let me eat or drink water for two weeks! THEN I COULDN’T GO TO THE BATHROOM SO A BUNCH OF YOUNG VANDY NURSES HAD TO PUT A TUBE UP MY DICK AND I CRIED!

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  1. Dillon says:

    oh my GAWD. cy is my new hero. i lol’d hard at every one of these.

  2. adam says:

    cy it broke my heart more than yours….btw can i borrow a amp tom? mines cuttin out..

  3. ashleigh says:

    best post!

  4. don quixote says:

    the rest of listmas needs to be from cy these stories are sweet

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