We’re forreally trying to get back on the ball with the SHREDITORIALs, know what I mean? So back on the ball that bad boy Pujol has already got another one ready for you. Check it out….


So, you know what just completely shreds my sheets as I gnash my teeth in the sack cuz I’m dreaming about assassinating the ghost that haunts my room and stalks my dreams? I don’t know, probably the laundering of “badness lists” as esoteric knowledge in American narrative voice. On an even danker note, lets launder this laundered laundry through the Dad Cycle and make that little detergent bear squeal like a piggy.

Turning on the internet radios, hearing Teddy Ruxpin with the robot voice, telling me like it is for $.99 a song like “the emperor has no clothes for babies.” The Cool Rocking Daddy (CRD) just shoots that screen like Elvis cuz he’s tired of watching the clusterfucks through the eyeholes in his one million Mona Lisas. The CRD has grown weary of the long lists of all the terrible exposed secrets touched on like rosary beads but dignified as esoteric. He is well aware that there are bad things, secrets, conspiracies, people who give it in the ear, fast food is bad for you, prescription medicine in the water supply, racism is bad, hating homosexuals is bad, violence is bad, etc. However, the CRD recognizes this list as superficial exposure once having broken through into societal consciousness, expressions of what a problem looks like, but not why it is there, or not even an accurate description of the root cause of a problem, but a mere negation of a particular symptom of a greater social ill.

We all know about negation, we’ve all heard music made from 1979 to now. We all know that its approaching evolution into aesthetic and narrative superstition, so does the CRD. The CRD sits watching the bebes, writhing in the lappy cluthes of the Santa Claws, whispering into their ears tales of corruption, oppression, and repression, a long Weapon Xmas list of all the battles in an impossible war that will vainly be fought upon the imagined premise of some “Green Day with eyeliner on” fantasy catharsis where all government, religion, and corporate hegemony are exposed for what they truly are: uhhhh, the way people organize themselves?

Oh SHIT. So, the CRD must view all of these entities as value neutral frameworks that materially shape reality, and probably exist because the serve some human utility. As opposed to wishing their existence were negated, he sees them as different expressions of the human experience, and therefore, their negation is not a precursor to human freedom, their occupation is. Sort of the same way that Lenin dude controlled the “means of communication,” but not in a batshit crazy violent way. So, the CRD recognizes that when you negate everything, some asshole just ends up running it, and that asshole will shape human material reality, until one day, you really do get oppressed, but you’re not allowed to wear the T-Shirt about you being oppressed because you’ll get shot for dissent.

You know, cuz we live in like, a postmodern, pluralistic society and shit where we are recognized as individuals? The biggest revolution would be to “not be an asshole.” As opposed to determining the AMOUNT of hipness based off of what institution or aesthetic they connect with, and using that as the gauge for measuring awareness is the same logical phal-lacy as your “subjects.” The CRD has moved past “them and us” to “guys and gals trying to be happy.” He fights against no monolith, because anyone clinging to some external oppressor is just a scared baby who can’t fuck without a condom on. The CRD would rather celebrate the sanctity of the human experience, recognizing he is himself for one lifetime on earth, than try to make a legacy of destroying INSTEAD of augmenting. Cuz he lives in a place where he can.

BAM! Now you’ve disenfranchised all systems of oppression into “dude, don’t be a dick.” BAM! But there is no such thing as an answer and someday the CRD will be absorbed, synthesized, and usurped by the Fat Cat, and he will have to be overthrown and tossed into the annals as “a mere particular expression of the essence of rocking.”

He will go to New York and impregnate the Statue of Liberty on top of the Empire State Building. This will make a copper baby that bleeds red. He will smoke a bong with King Kong and grab all the girls from every window,


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