Man, we’re still reeling from the MLK Edition Shreditorial, but it’s time for another post from our buddy Daniel Pujol. This one’s about punk rockers…. Enjoy!


Shreditorial 5

Man, you know what is completely omniscient and rules my world and

watches me pee?: Punk rocks. Punk rocks are so engraved into American

culture now, that they fizzle in your Coca-Cola. Even rich white

people love it! It’s been condensed from a means of economic survival

and a different way of living besides the empty and naive rational

materialism that we mistake as creature comforts to Green Day hating

the president while their make-up runs on VH1. It really is just the

irresponsible opposite, like radical atheism or abstinence!

The best thing about punk rocks in America is “fuck you” means

“hello.” This way, we can say whatever we want and always make the

upper to upper middle class uncomfortable. BUTT, the best part is that

now it is okay to do that because it makes money. The whole idea of

being bad has been completely absorbed by the American bourgeoisie and

now its an excuse to feel oppressed by something that doesn’t exist

instead of an unfortunate temporary solution or an artistic expression

of our repressed humanity! It’s even “normal” to have pink streaks in

my hair like your 15 forever in college and beyond (FINALLY!) but the

jocks still hate you. It’s like packaging, domesticating, propagating,

and selling My Pocket Class Conflict! Genus!

It’s like the government figured out if they let people buy and say

whatever they want they will never have to worry about them doing

anything! On top of that, the commodification of punk rocks’ symbol

set means that you’re materially speaking corporate vocabulary, and

since people “understand” its domesticated leather studs, its not even

a threat and maybe even the village idiot!

Just like the Beatles, maybe 20th century authority figures learned

that its easier to control people by letting them say, eat, fuck,

shit, dress, but not believe, live, or marry whatever they want

instead of using violence. Then they don’t look bad and the citizens

can feel like heroes who stick it to a man missionary style in the

dark! All you need is love, and the money to buy the things to

communicate that you think that thought to other people who “get it?”

So here I am, to give it up to punk rocks in front of god and

Everybody: Punk rocks, you totally shred. Sorry corporate America had

sex with James Dean’s corpse who stuck its dick in the apple pie and

pulled out a way to be bad, but still good enough to go home. You’ve

been a real sport about being a caricature of yourself. Do you have a

new name now or are we supposed to make it up?

Aristotelian particulars and the essence of forms?,

Perennial philosophy?,

Daniel Pujol

Hey we are punk rockers and fuck your money! Thanks, Daniel. You’re best.

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  1. mikey says:

    Punk rocks are too loud.

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